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Picking up girls

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I had no idea how to go about picking up girls in Japan when I first arrived. What follows is a guide on picking up girls in Japan — nothing more, nothing less.

It will help you achieve whatever your goals are — from getting laid in Japan for the first time, building a massive harem, or just getting a Japanese girlfriend.

This is the resource I wish I had when I first started. Often, one date is all you get — regardless of whether it went well or not.

Japanese women are NOT strangers to sex, nor are they shy, virtuous creatures which demand lots of restraint.

Imagining you will arrive on these shores as a masculine god and blow away the competition offered by seemingly timid and sexually ambivalent Japanese men is simply a delusion.

As a major metropolis where there is despite what you may have heard no shortage of available, successful, sexually aggressive Japanese men, the most attractive women — the cream of the crop — are overflowing with suitable dating matches.

Western pickup materials like RSD also often miss the mark when it comes to picking up girls in Japan, giving misleading teachings which actually HURT you more than help you.

While much of their mindset advice can be on point, some technical applications — while helpful in the West — are actually harmful if applied directly in Japan.

Time is your friend. The more time you spend with a girl, the higher your chances are. Taking your time more often than not will end up with the girl fading herself out or abruptly stopping contact without explanation.

Instead, gun for the lay and add value after the fact to keep them around. Hot, high quality girls will rarely, if ever, stop for you if you get in their way or upon the open.

Instead, walk with them. Waiting until the club closes to pull the girl home. Instead, pull hard before the club closes. Touching the girl quickly and often will usually put her on the defensive.

Personal space bubbles are smaller in Japan, but more rigid. There is no hugging culture, and body contact is minimal, even among friends and family.

Save your overt kino escalation for when you are isolated with the girl. While Japanese women are no strangers to sexuality, most people speak far less about sex to strangers in Japan.

Focus on your own masculine polarity instead — voice tone, body language, leadership. Everything else will follow. There are hundreds of other small examples but you get the point.

Much of the pickup advice from the West should stay in the West — it simply does not apply. Other things, especially mindset related — such as abundance, momentum, self-improvement, taking action, reframing, etc, are still applicable.

There are generally three types of women in Japan, and each of these groups have pretty rigid boundaries though the odd exception might pop up here or there.

Like a.. Sometimes they want to get married, but more recently they often simply want to continue their career. Most foreigners end up with this type of girl.

Type B : Beautiful lower to middle class girls will be lured away from University by certain kinds of opportunity.

In high school, where the Type A girls are studying hard, Type B girls quickly realize they can get money, boys, and pretty much anything they want simply by the grace of their good looks.

Since their reality is the farthest from foreigners, most foreigners without a deep understanding of their values and circumstance as well as decent Japanese have a harder time getting these kinds of girls.

Similarly, many of these girls lack any deep interest in foreign things and have little English ability.

As we have already discussed, they receive constant validation and are incessantly badgered for their time, attention, and bodies by men and women around them who want various things from them, from modeling or working at their kyaba or girls bar, to sex.

As such, we need to both understand what kind of men they associate with, as well as how to cut through the noise of other men and their lives to get them out on dates and sleep with them.

Are you taking notes? The more you demonstrate an ability to fluently and interestingly ask, intuit, and expand on these topics and their application in Japan, the faster you will be able to relate to girls who may have no other interest in foreigners.

Personally, I find that good game is best cultivated in a wide variety of areas. Make more approaches, get better results.

That said, it is a lot of constant work. The single most important thing to realize with cold approach is that men wrongly feel the need for a context to talk to women.

Many beginners to cold approach spend tons of brainpower, worrying, and effort trying to make a context for their approach. The most common examples are asking for directions or asking to read a kanji.

In reality, wanting to get to know the girl is a valid enough reason to talk to her — you need no other reason! If you feel like you are guilty of trying to fabricate some any!

Trust me, girls will appreciate your honesty. The less apologetic you are about your approach, the more you will succeed. Another way of thinking about this is as a sense of duty.

It is your duty as a man to approach women who stir your loins. Society is based on men taking the lead, and those who can do this end up with the dime pieces, and those who sit on their ass waiting for women to come to them or be introduced to them when the stars align end up settling for mediocre partners.

Picking up girls through cold approach is a method fraught with rejection. Women reject you for all variety of reasons, many of which have nothing to do with you.

Rejections are both personal and totally impersonal. In other words, girls may reject your approach because:. As you can see, there are a TON of reasons why you might get rejected when picking up girls, and many have nothing to do with you.

Look deep inside yourself and determine if you are horribly affected by rejections, and if so implement the following procedures:. Put it out of your head.

The 3 girls I remembered are the ones who were both really my type and went well. In some sense, it is lying to yourself, but in another sense, it is taking control of your interpretation of the world.

If you find yourself burning out or getting worn down by rejection after rejection, try to use this tactic. Sometimes, approach with the sole goal of making her smile.

Therefore, some girls who are rejecting you are rejecting you because the two of you genuinely do not have affinity and would not be a good couple, no matter how hot she is.

Both of you would be unhappy. This is doing you a favor. If you genuinely like a girl and she rejects you, own it. Right action means approaching women who really inspire you.

Right action means going for the pull if you like the girl. Trust me, I know the temptation is there. I have done these things before myself.

But it never helps you feel better and it pollutes the cold approach environment — the next time that girl gets cold approached, the less likely she is to open up.

Remember, we live in a world with direct consequences on each other. It takes a strong man to smile and wave goodbye, totally unaffected by girls calling you kimoi or saying gaijin muri and giving you dirty looks.

Hopefully, these tips give you a bunch of ideas on how to prevent rejection from mentally affecting you that much. At the end of the day, game is largely fought internally.

You are trying to beat back your weak self which is full of excuses, rationalization, and negativity, and bring out your powerful, masculine self which is forged in right action, positivity, mutual respect, value, and fun.

At IPs, girls are preselected to be interested in foreigners, at least peripherally, so your work is considerably easier.

In terms of IP strategy, float around the party talking casually to everyone. If you consistently find really high quality girls who you have deep affinity with at IPs, then by all means keep going.

Otherwise, build some momentum and get some regulars and shift your game to other, harder venues. If you get tired of constant rejections on the streets, head back to the occasional IP, but you should always be trying to improve and move into bigger pools.

You never want to be the big fish in the small kiddy pool. On the flip side, whenever you see someone doing really well, learn from them!

Tinder, Happn, Skout, Gyaruru, Pairs, Omiai, Language exchange sites, etc can be great ways for guys who have a lot of social anxiety or AA to fling out a ton of invitations and practice making small talk over text.

Instead, let some mystery about you draw the girl in. Your profile pictures are of utmost importance in online game, so make sure to have good pictures — the best photos are taken by a professional or at least someone with a good camera and some basic touching up in Photoshop or Lightroom.

Some good rules of thumb are:. If you decide to include more than the basic three pictures I mentioned above, make sure each new photo tells a new story.

Better to have too few than too many. I find that pictures is enough, and 5 is too many. On Tinder and other hook-up apps, you need to make your first message intriguing enough to catch her attention over all the other guys out there spamming her constantly.

Try a few of these opening lines for starters:. From there, you can send more media pictures, for example , and it builds investment on her part.

Proceed with your invite as usual. After IPs and Online, Bars tend to be the easiest and least threatening venues for foreign guys.

In bars, people are already preselected to be interested in, or at least expectant of socialization with strangers.

However, HUB is a huge staple for a great many guys. Check for logistics, deal with the friend either by pulling both the girl and her friend, or creating a situation where the girl can leave her friend , and go for the bounce.

HUB is also a great place to pull pairs of girls with your wingman. Then you can either divide and conquer or bang them in plain sight of each other.

If there are girls in there, go in there, chat all the ones you like up until you either go for the SNL or phone number, then head out and switch venues.

Harder clubs are in Shibuya. Older clubs in Ginza. Energy is the currency of the night, which means that energy your vibe and mindset is more important than content your words.

Bounce her around a couple times like this, then bounce out of the venue. Almost always, you will get some form of resistance.

Can you solve it elegantly? Often, solving this problem simply means thinking creatively and not being caught with your pants down.

Once outside the venue, jump in a taxi and give the driver your address or a hotel — although they may be full on weekends after 1am.

With enough practice, this entire process becomes autopilot and you can really relax and just have fun and play with the energy of the girls.

But if at any point they decide to run off to the bathroom or back to their friends, grab their number before they go. For those who know me or who have been reading this blog for a while, you already know that I think street is king.

Simply put, there is no venue or place in the world with a larger density of extremely attractive women in the world than the streets of major cities like Shinjuku, Shibuya, Namba, Shinsaibashi, Umeda, Ikebukuro, Nakasu, etc.

On top of that, street is totally free and often the girls are alone, making it one step easier. The downside is that many guys get intimidated by doing cold approaches on the street.

However, the massive flow of traffic makes it a lot easier to learn quickly. In general, your mission is to approach unapologetically in a way that builds comfort discussed more towards the end , shares your world , finds out a bit about her world , then closes either gets the LINE or goes for the SNL before going on with your day.

Determine her Aura energy level and mood , move quickly to catch up to her decrease reaction time. Avoid physical compliments and high-investment questions.

Vibe casual, fun conversation. Decision time — does she have enough time to take it all the way tonight or not? Soft seed hanging out next time.

There are a ton of other great daygame venues where you can try picking up girls. Cafes, department stores, train stations, trains themselves, bookstores, DVD rental stores, shopping malls, grocery stores, and convenience stores, are all great places, but most of these require a little more tact than the rapid-fire approaching which you need for street and clubs.

If you find street and clubs tiring, you can take breaks in many of these places. DVD stores are bountiful on weekend nights — picking up lonely girls with no plans other than watching a movie alone can be remarkably easy.

The downside here is low volume. Trains are another venue where you can try picking up girls. Making sure to speak casually and calmly while not invading her space, you can often make enough of a connection to get the LINE and ensure her eager participation in a future date.

If it happens though, you can hop off the train and tell her to hold up a second, exchange lines, then jump on the next train.

Gathering, or cultivating, is the flip side of picking up girls through cold approach, and WAY less discussed in pickup material in general.

Building a bountiful social circle is a whole nother game, requiring constant effort without direct correlation to the amount you get laid — but if done correctly, the results are nothing short of magical.

You should view your social circle like building an investment , not picking up girls immediately for instant sex. Like a garden, you are building something that will take a lot of effort and time to mature before you can reap some of the rewards.

Additionally, you want to harvest carefully lest you destroy the plant which provides. Cultivating should go hand in hand with cold approach.

If, during your travels of cold approach, you meet cool, socially connected guys or girls, add them as friends.

With girls this usually means NOT banging them even if the opportunity is there. A lot of gamers especially those in sexual scarcity will just smash every girl in their vicinity without any idea of the long-term benefits of having cute DJ girls or dancers as their friends.

The first step towards a bountiful social circle is a core. Your core will be a group of guys and girls who are not necessarily directly connected, but who are all people you enjoy hanging out with, and who can provide value as well.

Here are some criteria for core members:. Most of the time, you will focus on one or a few niches. Tips and Warnings.

Related Articles. Article Summary. Co-authored by 26 contributors Community of editors, researchers, and specialists September 6, References.

Part 1 of Know when to approach. One of the most important parts of picking up a girl is knowing when to make a move. If the girl is giving you signals, like making eye contact, looking at you and smiling and then looking away, or standing with a group of friends looking out into the crowd, then it's pretty safe to assume you'd be welcome when you say hello.

Though you can't wait around forever for the most perfect situation, you should choose your timing carefully to improve your chances.

Here are some things to consider before you approach: Read her body language. Is she turned toward the crowd and looking around her instead of deeply involved with her friends?

If so, then this is a sign that she'd welcome an approach. See if she looks bored with her company. If she checks her phone a lot, plays with her hair, or rifles through her purse a lot, then this may be a sign that she'd be open to meeting new people.

Make sure the girl isn't having a deep, serious-seeming conversation with her friends. If they are leaning in towards each other, talking intensely, and if one of them even looks like she's on the brink of tears, then tonight's not your night.

You don't want to interrupt an important girl catch-up session. Impress her with your confidence. Women are drawn to confident men, and if you want to pick up a girl, then you have to let her see that you're comfortable with who you are.

While it can take time to truly build your confidence, there's no harm in faking it when you approach a girl so you'll be closer to feeling that inner peace from projecting outward confidence.

Here are some ways to get the girl with your confidence right away: Let her see that you're not afraid. Make eye contact as you approach her and smile at her.

Don't be bashful and look at the floor. Show confidence in your body language. Turn your body toward her, stand tall, and avoid slouching or looking down.

Don't put yourself down immediately. Part of confidence is looking the part. Wear well-fitting clothes that are clean, crisp, and appropriate for the occasion.

Most importantly, wear clothing that looks nice while making you feel comfortable, so you don't look visibly uncomfortable.

Have a solid opening. If you want the girl to take you seriously and even to consider going on a date with you, then you need to choose your words carefully.

Some people say that girls make a decision about whether or not they like you in the first fifteen minutes, so you can't waste too much time making small talk instead of charming her with your words and manner.

Here are some things to keep in mind: Avoid cheesy pick-up lines. No matter what you read online or what you hear from your friends, they rarely work.

What's more, they'll make the girl think you only see her as a conquest, not as a person you want to get to know. Introduce yourself and ask the girl her name.

Nothing fancy. Be forward. Don't be timid when you come up to her. Make it clear that you want to talk to her, and don't act like you think you might be inconveniencing or bothering her.

If that's the case, then you'll know soon enough, anyway. Flirt a little bit. Once you start talking to the girl, it's time to get your flirt on as soon as you can without laying it on too thick.

Make eye contact, lean your body toward her, and show her that you're interested in her. You can even tease her a little bit, as long as you don't end up offending her by taking it too far.

Just keep up a light, jokey, playful banter, and make sure she's responding well. Flirting is important if you want to get her attention.

Give her a small compliment. Tell her you like the way she styles her hair, or something else that's harmless to show you're paying attention.

Don't avoid saying something nice to her because you think she's heard it all before. Just because you're sure every other guy she knows has mentioned her gorgeous eyes doesn't mean you have to ignore them.

Show interest in only her, not her friends. Though you may think that you raise your chances of picking up a girl if you flirt your way into a crowd of girls and see who bites, you're actually far better off focusing your energy on just one girl at a time.

If you make it seem like you'd just be as happy hitting on her friends as you are with talking to the girl, then she'll see you as a player and will quickly lose interest.

Instead, you need to make it clear that she's the one for you. She wants to feel like you think she's special, not like she's just one of a number of girls you want to hit on.

Plus, if you start hitting on her friends as well as her, then they'll discourage the girl from liking you because they'll see that you're a player, too.

Approach her in places other than bars or nightclubs. If you want to raise your chances of picking up a girl, then you have to think outside the box a bit.

Sure, a lot of guys like to pick up girls at bars and nightclubs, but you may actually be able to pick up a girl more easily at a coffee shop, farmer's market, mall, or even the gym, because she'll be less likely to expect it and her guard may be down.

Don't think that you can only look for girls in the most obvious places and always be on the lookout for cute girls who spark your interest.

She'll be impressed that you're suave and smart. If you're at the farmer's market or even a grocery store, don't be afraid to strike up a silly conversation about produce or by asking the girl what she plans to do with that bunch of kale.

If you're at the gym, make eye contact with a girl when you're working out and come up to her later, when she's wrapping up her workout, so you don't catch her off guard too much.

Part 2 of Ask her questions. If you want the girl to be into you, then you have to show that you actually want to get to know her.

You don't need to give her the first degree, but you should at least ask her a few questions about her interests and who she is so she feels like you're making an effort.

Make sure you open up about yourself, too, so you create a fair balance. When it comes to picking up a girl, it's much more important to be interested in her, than to be interesting yourself.

Here are some things you can ask her about: Her hobbies Her pets Her friends The town where she grew up Her favorite bands, movies, or actors.

Find common ground. You don't have to have everything in common with the girl you're trying to pick up, but finding something you can bond over certainly won't hurt.

This can be your love for the Warriors, your obsession with the show Community, or even the fact that you happened to go to the same college three years apart.

You can even find something much more silly to have in common, such as your dislike of the bartender, or your love for the color black.

Once you find your thing, make a real human connection with the girl over it. If you find that you don't have any sports teams, shows, or musical interests in common, then you can tease her about her taste a bit, but only if she teases you, too.

Show that you think she's special. Let her know that she really stands out to you. Compliment her eyes or her clothes, tell her why you think she's unique, and let her see that you're not just smooth talking her.

Make her get the feeling that you genuinely care and that you're not just there to get any girl to go home with you. Lean closer to her, tell her she has the greatest laugh you've ever heard, and just make an effort to show that she really does stand out to you.

No girl wants to be looked at as a piece of meat. Make her see that you see her for her, and that she's not just any other girl.

If she's really different in some way — in a good way — then let her know. Don't come on too strong. While you want her to see that you're pursuing her, you don't want to creep her out, either.

Let her know you like her without telling her you want to get married, and ask her questions without talking about how many people she's kissed in her life.

Make her see that you're a fun, cool, and casual guy and that you're not putting too much pressure on yourself over this.

The harder you try, the more put off she'll be. If you see other guys checking her out or saw her talking to another guy in her circle, don't start asking a million questions about who they are or how she knows them.

Just play it cool instead of coming off as insecure. Try to avoid questioning her feelings about you, or making it look like you're too desperate to please her.

Don't take yourself so seriously.

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The most basic and perhaps most useful way to show that you have social power is to be confident. By demonstrating an ability to speak and act in a self-assured manner, you can show that you have nothing to fear from other men, which makes you seem relatively powerful.

This is why it is often said that confidence is everything in the dating world. Become confident , and the rest of the pickup game boils down to details; fail to exhibit confidence, and you will always struggle to get dates.

Be yourself, but be your best self. It's important that you avoid being fake. Women are very perceptive and will not take you seriously if you're disrespecting them by pretending to be someone or something you're not.

On the other hand, women aren't looking for a mess to clean up, either. One of the greatest benefits of a long-term relationship is having the freedom to share your worries and fears with someone who loves you, but right now, you aren't in a long-term relationship - you're washing laundry next to someone with a cute smile and a funny T-shirt.

Don't lose perspective. The pickup is your chance to show off all there is to like about you, not an excuse to start unloading on a girl who was nice enough to listen.

Perfect your body language. Body language is more than just standing with a straight back and making eye contact: it's the whole package, everything you do to communicate that isn't the words coming out of your mouth.

The rules of thumb are as follows: [4] X Research source More eye contact is better than less eye contact. Smile whenever you make eye contact.

Don't look away until you've smiled. Don't stare. Try to keep your eyes from glancing at a woman's body if you're talking to her.

Adopt an open stance: legs and arms uncrossed, shoulders back, head level. This makes you appear confident, relaxed, and receptive.

Don't mumble. Speak clearly and without hesitation. Lean in slightly to the person you're interested in when you speak to her.

Bringing your head slightly forward is fine if you're seated. Never forget: body language is powerful, but it's not always clear. For example, people tend to touch the parts of themselves they think are attractive when they are attracted to someone.

A girl who keeps touching her lips or chest with one hand as she talks to you might be interested; then again, she could just be itchy.

Take any cues you think you see with a grain of salt. Learn this mantra: do or die. If a girl was attracted to you, wouldn't you want her to let you know now instead of three years from now?

Girls feel the same way. This is why slowly trying to win over a woman's heart by ingratiating yourself to her never seems to work: women want a man who will come right out and say how he feels.

If he really is interested enough to want a date, he should be willing to risk rejection for the sake of the chance. Even women who are very attracted to you won't wait around for you to ask them out forever.

They'll either decide that you aren't attracted to them and give up, or that you aren't attractive because you were never brave enough to ask for a date.

When you feel attracted to a girl, if you don't ask her out the same day you realize you want to date her, assume you have around a month at most to make your intentions known.

Don't wait for a perfect moment. Method 2 of Have a line ready. Start by knowing the first thing you're going to say to the girl you have your eye on before you say it.

It doesn't have to be anything especially exciting — just an invitation to talk. Try bringing up the weather if you're outside, or the decor if you're somewhere indoors.

At a party, bring up something about the party or ask how she met the host or hostess. Just have a starting line picked out before you begin.

Build the conversation. If your prompt elicited a cold response, you have two options: give up or go straight to a flirt and hope for the best.

If, on the other hand, the girl responded warmly to you, it's time to let your conversational skills shine.

If you make it easier for her she'll appreciate it. Try offering a few opinions on something inconsequential, such as the music in the background.

Keep it honest, and see how she responds. Listen to what she says and ask her for more details about her opinion. By putting yourself out there first, you are making it safe for her to follow suit and agree or disagree with your opinion.

Instead, turn such questions into statements like "You look like you're from Rome" or "I bet you're an event planner".

You'll seem bolder and give her room to respond more naturally, which will help her relax and enjoy the talk. Use humor. Humor is universal, and finding someone who appreciates your personal sense of humor is a great feeling.

On the other hand, someone who lets your jokes fall flat is probably neither interested in you nor worth pursuing, which makes humor a great way to test the waters without being awkwardly upfront about it.

If the girl you're talking to is interested, she'll hang on your jokes and laugh at them even when other people don't.

Keep compliments subtle. Whatever compliments you make should come up naturally. The key to a good conversation is to talk about things you both feel comfortable discussing.

When you find a way to give her a compliment or a flirt that doesn't break the flow of the conversation, go for it; otherwise, keep your pickup lines to yourself.

It's more important to show that you're fun company than it is to explicitly state that you find her attractive, which should already have been obvious from the fact that you came over and started running your game on her.

Show your spine. Girls like a guy who is secure and comfortable in his own skin. Never shy away from answering questions about yourself honestly.

Most girls prefer the guy who builds robots in his basement and has the moxie to say so with a smile over the guy who acts ashamed or embarrassed about it.

Girls appreciate it when a guy seems interested but not dazzled, because it means he's less likely to become too attached too quickly and make things uncomfortable for them.

On the other hand, someone who's constantly making mean jokes at her expense is just going to seem rude and childish.

Ask for her number. When it's time to wrap up the conversation, cut things off on a high note and ask for her number. If she says she doesn't want to give you her number, be gracious and wish her a good rest of the day.

If you do get her number, call within a day or two and see about scheduling a date for the weekend. Prepare for a first date.

The best first dates are those that do not require a lot of silent time together. Avoid concerts and movies.

Instead, suggest something that will give you both room to talk, and which does not cost a lot of money.

Have an idea and a couple of alternates ready ahead of time; most women prefer it when the man decides on the date. All of these options provide plenty of opportunities for uninterrupted conversation and if you're lucky a first kiss.

Offer to pay for the first date, but don't insist on it. Some women find the notion that a man should pay for every date insulting, and will prefer to split costs with you or pay their own way.

Whatever your date prefers, go along with it. This is a first date, not a marriage contract.

Once you've settled on a time and place, don't call her again until it's time to meet. You'll have plenty of time to talk then. The less apologetic you are about your approach, the more you will succeed.

Another way of thinking about this is as a sense of duty. It is your duty as a man to approach women who stir your loins. Society is based on men taking the lead, and those who can do this end up with the dime pieces, and those who sit on their ass waiting for women to come to them or be introduced to them when the stars align end up settling for mediocre partners.

Picking up girls through cold approach is a method fraught with rejection. Women reject you for all variety of reasons, many of which have nothing to do with you.

Rejections are both personal and totally impersonal. In other words, girls may reject your approach because:.

As you can see, there are a TON of reasons why you might get rejected when picking up girls, and many have nothing to do with you. Look deep inside yourself and determine if you are horribly affected by rejections, and if so implement the following procedures:.

Put it out of your head. The 3 girls I remembered are the ones who were both really my type and went well. In some sense, it is lying to yourself, but in another sense, it is taking control of your interpretation of the world.

If you find yourself burning out or getting worn down by rejection after rejection, try to use this tactic. Sometimes, approach with the sole goal of making her smile.

Therefore, some girls who are rejecting you are rejecting you because the two of you genuinely do not have affinity and would not be a good couple, no matter how hot she is.

Both of you would be unhappy. This is doing you a favor. If you genuinely like a girl and she rejects you, own it.

Right action means approaching women who really inspire you. Right action means going for the pull if you like the girl.

Trust me, I know the temptation is there. I have done these things before myself. But it never helps you feel better and it pollutes the cold approach environment — the next time that girl gets cold approached, the less likely she is to open up.

Remember, we live in a world with direct consequences on each other. It takes a strong man to smile and wave goodbye, totally unaffected by girls calling you kimoi or saying gaijin muri and giving you dirty looks.

Hopefully, these tips give you a bunch of ideas on how to prevent rejection from mentally affecting you that much. At the end of the day, game is largely fought internally.

You are trying to beat back your weak self which is full of excuses, rationalization, and negativity, and bring out your powerful, masculine self which is forged in right action, positivity, mutual respect, value, and fun.

At IPs, girls are preselected to be interested in foreigners, at least peripherally, so your work is considerably easier.

In terms of IP strategy, float around the party talking casually to everyone. If you consistently find really high quality girls who you have deep affinity with at IPs, then by all means keep going.

Otherwise, build some momentum and get some regulars and shift your game to other, harder venues.

If you get tired of constant rejections on the streets, head back to the occasional IP, but you should always be trying to improve and move into bigger pools.

You never want to be the big fish in the small kiddy pool. On the flip side, whenever you see someone doing really well, learn from them!

Tinder, Happn, Skout, Gyaruru, Pairs, Omiai, Language exchange sites, etc can be great ways for guys who have a lot of social anxiety or AA to fling out a ton of invitations and practice making small talk over text.

Instead, let some mystery about you draw the girl in. Your profile pictures are of utmost importance in online game, so make sure to have good pictures — the best photos are taken by a professional or at least someone with a good camera and some basic touching up in Photoshop or Lightroom.

Some good rules of thumb are:. If you decide to include more than the basic three pictures I mentioned above, make sure each new photo tells a new story.

Better to have too few than too many. I find that pictures is enough, and 5 is too many. On Tinder and other hook-up apps, you need to make your first message intriguing enough to catch her attention over all the other guys out there spamming her constantly.

Try a few of these opening lines for starters:. From there, you can send more media pictures, for example , and it builds investment on her part.

Proceed with your invite as usual. After IPs and Online, Bars tend to be the easiest and least threatening venues for foreign guys.

In bars, people are already preselected to be interested in, or at least expectant of socialization with strangers. However, HUB is a huge staple for a great many guys.

Check for logistics, deal with the friend either by pulling both the girl and her friend, or creating a situation where the girl can leave her friend , and go for the bounce.

HUB is also a great place to pull pairs of girls with your wingman. Then you can either divide and conquer or bang them in plain sight of each other.

If there are girls in there, go in there, chat all the ones you like up until you either go for the SNL or phone number, then head out and switch venues.

Harder clubs are in Shibuya. Older clubs in Ginza. Energy is the currency of the night, which means that energy your vibe and mindset is more important than content your words.

Bounce her around a couple times like this, then bounce out of the venue. Almost always, you will get some form of resistance.

Can you solve it elegantly? Often, solving this problem simply means thinking creatively and not being caught with your pants down.

Once outside the venue, jump in a taxi and give the driver your address or a hotel — although they may be full on weekends after 1am.

With enough practice, this entire process becomes autopilot and you can really relax and just have fun and play with the energy of the girls.

But if at any point they decide to run off to the bathroom or back to their friends, grab their number before they go.

For those who know me or who have been reading this blog for a while, you already know that I think street is king. Simply put, there is no venue or place in the world with a larger density of extremely attractive women in the world than the streets of major cities like Shinjuku, Shibuya, Namba, Shinsaibashi, Umeda, Ikebukuro, Nakasu, etc.

On top of that, street is totally free and often the girls are alone, making it one step easier. The downside is that many guys get intimidated by doing cold approaches on the street.

However, the massive flow of traffic makes it a lot easier to learn quickly. In general, your mission is to approach unapologetically in a way that builds comfort discussed more towards the end , shares your world , finds out a bit about her world , then closes either gets the LINE or goes for the SNL before going on with your day.

Determine her Aura energy level and mood , move quickly to catch up to her decrease reaction time. Avoid physical compliments and high-investment questions.

Vibe casual, fun conversation. Decision time — does she have enough time to take it all the way tonight or not? Soft seed hanging out next time.

There are a ton of other great daygame venues where you can try picking up girls. Cafes, department stores, train stations, trains themselves, bookstores, DVD rental stores, shopping malls, grocery stores, and convenience stores, are all great places, but most of these require a little more tact than the rapid-fire approaching which you need for street and clubs.

If you find street and clubs tiring, you can take breaks in many of these places. DVD stores are bountiful on weekend nights — picking up lonely girls with no plans other than watching a movie alone can be remarkably easy.

The downside here is low volume. Trains are another venue where you can try picking up girls. Making sure to speak casually and calmly while not invading her space, you can often make enough of a connection to get the LINE and ensure her eager participation in a future date.

If it happens though, you can hop off the train and tell her to hold up a second, exchange lines, then jump on the next train.

Gathering, or cultivating, is the flip side of picking up girls through cold approach, and WAY less discussed in pickup material in general.

Building a bountiful social circle is a whole nother game, requiring constant effort without direct correlation to the amount you get laid — but if done correctly, the results are nothing short of magical.

You should view your social circle like building an investment , not picking up girls immediately for instant sex.

Like a garden, you are building something that will take a lot of effort and time to mature before you can reap some of the rewards.

Additionally, you want to harvest carefully lest you destroy the plant which provides. Cultivating should go hand in hand with cold approach.

If, during your travels of cold approach, you meet cool, socially connected guys or girls, add them as friends.

With girls this usually means NOT banging them even if the opportunity is there. A lot of gamers especially those in sexual scarcity will just smash every girl in their vicinity without any idea of the long-term benefits of having cute DJ girls or dancers as their friends.

The first step towards a bountiful social circle is a core. Your core will be a group of guys and girls who are not necessarily directly connected, but who are all people you enjoy hanging out with, and who can provide value as well.

Here are some criteria for core members:. Most of the time, you will focus on one or a few niches. Show confidence in your body language.

Turn your body toward her, stand tall, and avoid slouching or looking down. Don't put yourself down immediately.

Part of confidence is looking the part. Wear well-fitting clothes that are clean, crisp, and appropriate for the occasion. Most importantly, wear clothing that looks nice while making you feel comfortable, so you don't look visibly uncomfortable.

Have a solid opening. If you want the girl to take you seriously and even to consider going on a date with you, then you need to choose your words carefully.

Some people say that girls make a decision about whether or not they like you in the first fifteen minutes, so you can't waste too much time making small talk instead of charming her with your words and manner.

Here are some things to keep in mind: Avoid cheesy pick-up lines. No matter what you read online or what you hear from your friends, they rarely work.

What's more, they'll make the girl think you only see her as a conquest, not as a person you want to get to know. Introduce yourself and ask the girl her name.

Nothing fancy. Be forward. Don't be timid when you come up to her. Make it clear that you want to talk to her, and don't act like you think you might be inconveniencing or bothering her.

If that's the case, then you'll know soon enough, anyway. Flirt a little bit. Once you start talking to the girl, it's time to get your flirt on as soon as you can without laying it on too thick.

Make eye contact, lean your body toward her, and show her that you're interested in her. You can even tease her a little bit, as long as you don't end up offending her by taking it too far.

Just keep up a light, jokey, playful banter, and make sure she's responding well. Flirting is important if you want to get her attention.

Give her a small compliment. Tell her you like the way she styles her hair, or something else that's harmless to show you're paying attention.

Don't avoid saying something nice to her because you think she's heard it all before. Just because you're sure every other guy she knows has mentioned her gorgeous eyes doesn't mean you have to ignore them.

Show interest in only her, not her friends. Though you may think that you raise your chances of picking up a girl if you flirt your way into a crowd of girls and see who bites, you're actually far better off focusing your energy on just one girl at a time.

If you make it seem like you'd just be as happy hitting on her friends as you are with talking to the girl, then she'll see you as a player and will quickly lose interest.

Instead, you need to make it clear that she's the one for you. She wants to feel like you think she's special, not like she's just one of a number of girls you want to hit on.

Plus, if you start hitting on her friends as well as her, then they'll discourage the girl from liking you because they'll see that you're a player, too.

Approach her in places other than bars or nightclubs. If you want to raise your chances of picking up a girl, then you have to think outside the box a bit.

Sure, a lot of guys like to pick up girls at bars and nightclubs, but you may actually be able to pick up a girl more easily at a coffee shop, farmer's market, mall, or even the gym, because she'll be less likely to expect it and her guard may be down.

Don't think that you can only look for girls in the most obvious places and always be on the lookout for cute girls who spark your interest.

She'll be impressed that you're suave and smart. If you're at the farmer's market or even a grocery store, don't be afraid to strike up a silly conversation about produce or by asking the girl what she plans to do with that bunch of kale.

If you're at the gym, make eye contact with a girl when you're working out and come up to her later, when she's wrapping up her workout, so you don't catch her off guard too much.

Part 2 of Ask her questions. If you want the girl to be into you, then you have to show that you actually want to get to know her.

You don't need to give her the first degree, but you should at least ask her a few questions about her interests and who she is so she feels like you're making an effort.

Make sure you open up about yourself, too, so you create a fair balance. When it comes to picking up a girl, it's much more important to be interested in her, than to be interesting yourself.

Here are some things you can ask her about: Her hobbies Her pets Her friends The town where she grew up Her favorite bands, movies, or actors.

Find common ground. You don't have to have everything in common with the girl you're trying to pick up, but finding something you can bond over certainly won't hurt.

This can be your love for the Warriors, your obsession with the show Community, or even the fact that you happened to go to the same college three years apart.

You can even find something much more silly to have in common, such as your dislike of the bartender, or your love for the color black.

Once you find your thing, make a real human connection with the girl over it. If you find that you don't have any sports teams, shows, or musical interests in common, then you can tease her about her taste a bit, but only if she teases you, too.

Show that you think she's special. Let her know that she really stands out to you. Compliment her eyes or her clothes, tell her why you think she's unique, and let her see that you're not just smooth talking her.

Make her get the feeling that you genuinely care and that you're not just there to get any girl to go home with you.

Lean closer to her, tell her she has the greatest laugh you've ever heard, and just make an effort to show that she really does stand out to you.

No girl wants to be looked at as a piece of meat. Make her see that you see her for her, and that she's not just any other girl.

If she's really different in some way — in a good way — then let her know.

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